Green jersey - as we get started with the Tour de Fox, there haven't been many points available. However, some of riders surreptitiously made their way to Dr Lambourghini's caravan and engaged his help. As a result, although Vicky (Movistar) made the first move and invested in a round of Chilean Magic Espressos for each member of her team, she was later out done as PilotP from Direct Energie also headed off to the caravan of shame and bought TWO rounds of the steaming brown nectar (yes!) for his teammates. This means that the three Direct Energie riders tie for the green jersey so far. Interestingly, no one thought to send any Dr Lambo specials to upset the opposing teams. This is likely to change.
Well done chaps, and don't forget you have two chances on Saturday to win points and progress as well as in the 6:30pm Tuesday class - all three classes will be following the day's stage of the Tour de France. Better get cracking and bag your bike now.
*Shuffles around in an overhead cubbyhole* A copy of Morris Dancing: Self-Actualisation Therapy for Men falls out. "Oh, er, that's not mine. I'm looking after it for a friend."
*Shuffles round a bit more* "Yes, here it is. You need fast legs. You're going to need a Special Breakfast. What is more special than Weetabix? For £2 this will make sure you're ahead the next day in the green jersey rankings.
Oh, and perhaps you might like this..." *struggles with what looks like a sha-massive tarpaulin* "Would you mind just taking one end? Grazie." *Sighs and shakes his head despairingly at your complete innocence.*
"You have so much to learn. This is a trick used in some of the very earliest Tours. It's a fake tunnel. I will just have this rolled out and erected (yes) on a wall, and anyone who is behind you will plough straight into the wall, thinking it's a tunnel. That should cool their calves a bit. What do you think? I can see you're not sure. This could make all the difference! There are some teams who need taking down a peg or two, I'm sure you'll agree. £4 for this one. Anyone behind you in the rankings will lose 5 green jersey points.
What do you think: